I mean, sure Tinder can be great app if you’re someone who is not into the whole meeting someone face-to-face thing; but if that’s the case, then why are you bothering at all? Surely at some point if you’re talking to someone; you will end up meeting them. I don’t know, I think I find Tinder incredibly tedious for someone like myself, because admittedly; I am a hopeless (more like helpless) romantic. But Tinder is not really taken seriously by most users which makes finding genuine people as easy as trying to find a needle in a haystack; as they say. It seems to prevent solid relationships forming rather than allowing them to. It’s a quick fix and something to go to when you’re bored. I suppose it can even help boost your confidence in a way when you see that you have a new match. Whatever it is, I have never really found any kind of temporary satisfaction from it. I’m not comfortable with the idea of judging a person purely on their looks, but because of the way Tinder operates... that's exactly what I do.
Believe it or not, I try not to linger on Tinder for too long because I find myself engaging in conversations with people out of pure boredom half of the time; both of us knowing full well it will not go any further. I go through phases of downloading the app and deleting it. Each time I download it, after just a few swipes and matches that lead to nothing but monotonous conversations or better yet, opening liners that could only be coming from an immature ‘LAD’; I'm nothing but reminded as to why I delete it in the first place. Yet, I’ll still occasionally download it despite this. It’s a bit addictive in a way. You want to see if you’ve had any new matches or if anyone ‘new’ pops up within your location settings or something. Anyway, I really do hope there will be a day where I just say bollocks to Tinder and delete it once and for all; either because I am happily loved up with someone (I can dream, right?) or because I have finally accepted the inevitable in that I will be forever alone.
So floating between having Tinder and not, I’ve realised all of the things that annoy the hell out of me (personally) about it; or more specifically, about guys on it. It all screams the question of why do I still turn to it sometimes when in reality, I get nothing but a stiff sore thumb from swiping left and some sort of lasting emptiness. Anyway, here are some of the things that I hate about Tinder; as a girl looking for a guy.
In a way, I get why people tend to not have a bio; you can get to know them because they will be completely mysterious. Having no bio kind of makes you want to know something; especially if you find them visually attractive. But again, you can still do that WITH a bio, maybe even better because having a bio would show whether or not you’re into similar things or have the same hobbies. Although I've noticed that profiles that include hobbies and interests only appear on what I’d say are the elite profiles of Tinder, who really help a girl like me out from time to time by actually putting some thought and effort into a bio.
I try my hardest not to swipe on a persons profile based entirely on their looks/photos; but when you have no bio? Your looks are all I’m left with. So if you have no bio and we have matched, I think it would be fair to say I find you attractive. Unless you’re an accidental swipe, oops. If that’s the case, then that’s a bit awkward but come on; it happens to the best of us.
Also, if you have no bio but we’ve matched and you’re maybe (probably not, but you never know) wondering why I haven’t messaged; see paragraph 2; WRITE A FUCKING BIO.
2. SUNGLASSES
A single photo among several? Fine.
Your only photo? Not ideal really, is it?
Worst yet, several photos with sunglasses on in every one? Well, unless you’re fucking Stevie Wonder who has been blind since birth by the way; what is the point? Am I missing something? It doesn’t really allow me to see (pardon the pun) all that much, does it? Your eyes are a huge part of your face. You can tell a lot by a persons eyes; even in photos.
It just really grinds my gears is all. But, if you are a guy without a photo of yourself wearing sunglasses; then I wholeheartedly applaud you. You’re doing great, sweetie.
3. GROUP PHOTOS
You’ve got a great group of mates, I can see that. What I can’t see though, is you. I need to know who I am potentially swiping left or right on. The amount of times I’ve scrolled through the rest of someone’s photos only to realise I actually fancy their mate a lot more is quite dreadful. It’s not my fault though! It’s your profile so there should be photos of you on it and ideally; you only.
Group photos do nothing other than bring what could be my potential love story to a cruel and twisted end. Shame on you guys who only use group photos. I don’t know who it disappoints more; me or you.
4. TOPLESS PHOTOS
Not leaving much to the imagination there are we? Whenever I see a topless photo on a guys profile, 9 times out of 10 I swipe left. Genuinely. Unless I see other evidence that you are some sort of actual athlete, like say… a swimmer; then call me weird (girls), but I will swipe left on that profile. It doesn’t appeal to me. You would either care too much about making your abs ‘pop' or you are just a guy who is “not looking for anything serious, just a bit of fun ;P.” Whichever it may be; left left left.
To me, topless photos say all I need to know about what type of guy they are. Perhaps that is too judgemental of me, but that’s my opinion. Having said that, I’ve matched with a few guys like this from time to time out of curiosity and have been proven right. What I mean is; the conversation didn't even reach to "how are you" before they initiated some sort of dirty talk or sending nudes. So yeah, my opinion still stands.
I don’t need to see your washboard abs to know that you workout; tell me about it instead. It’s the same with tattooed torsos; tell me about the tattoos you have first, then maybe show me; if I ask and you’re willing to. Equally, I don’t need to see your hairy chest for you to prove that you’re a man; there are other ways you can show me this, thank you.
Again, it’s a superficiality thing. It’s obvious as a guy that if you get your abs out that you’re likely to be swiped right on and considered 'attractive'. Just like it is obvious that if you’re a girl and you’re wearing revealing clothing in your photos or maybe you’re curvy; whatever guys typically consider visually attractive - you’re more likely to be swiped right on too. That said, please note that FYI guys - no girl dresses in order or hope of achieving your attention and validation; nor are our bodies built especially for you.
5. OPENING LINES
Starting the first conversation will be the hardest, I know. As hard as it can be, if you send some of the shit to girls that I’ve been sent and are left wondering why you haven’t had a reply or have been unmatched; chances are it’s because of what you just said. Think before you type; it will benefit us both.
I’m not any way a fun sponge; I just struggle to understand what the fuck goes through a guys head when they decide to strike up a conversation in this way. I mean, are these really something you would say to a girl in a club?
Here’s a small amount of what I’ve been sent:
Compared to some, these are the nicer opening liners I receive. I have to say though, I dig the imagination that must go into them, I really do. But things like this leave me with nothing to say. What could I possibly reply to these with?! I’m all for banter and innuendos; just not as an opening liner.
All any message like this ever does is provide the group chat with a good laugh. So I mean, keep them coming; just don’t expect a reply from me…
6. LAZY PEOPLE
“What do you study?”
… are you unable to read?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure the answer to those questions are in black and white on my actual profile. What makes me laugh even more though is the fact that my place of university will actually appear UNDER the first photo you will see of me on your Tinder.
Unless you’re illiterate; don’t be fucking lazy. Read. Nothing makes me sigh harder or roll my eyes even further into the back of my head than being asked these questions, honestly. It’s boring. Instead, why not ask me why I study what I do or if I enjoy studying what I do. It’s not that hard to make a little more effort, you know.
7. FILTERS
There is one word for guys who have photos of themselves using Snapchat filters: cringe. Especially if it’s a dog filter. How am I supposed to take you seriously when you're 24 and are still posting selfies with a Snapchat filter on?
Just stop it. You look like a prat.
8. FALLING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH
First of all, there are times where I do genuinely forget to reply to Tinder messages; therefore I am so guilty of this one. I do tend to have a habit of having conversations with people and then suddenly never replying again; so it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to say that this annoys the hell out of me as I do it too. But I do sympathise, at least.
You know, you match with someone and exchange some messages and actually begin to have a decent conversation; leading you to see a bit of potential. Then suddenly; BOOM. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Was it something I said?
ALL IN ALL...
Whilst I am no advocate for Tinder; my profile will probably continue to pop up on occasion. Why? Well, like I said at the beginning of this post, how else do you meet people these days? As confident as I am, or can be; I know for sure that I would not be able to just walk up to a guy in a bar and start talking. Especially in terms of trying to chat them up or whatever. It wouldn't feel natural to me, whereas using Tinder does, which is sad; but it's reality now.
However, without me taking that leap into the unknown by downloading Tinder; this blog would never have come into being. So I guess I do have something positive to say about it. It has enabled me to meet a fair few people; some of which were great and others; odd. Odd as in, it's clear why they're single and on Tinder is all I'll say. But overall, they're people I would probably have never met without it. It's also given me a lot of experience, stories to tell and has taught me, in its own way of what I do want and what I don't. I've had fun; but I've also had a lot of misery. I've met people with good intentions and I've met people with bad ones. I've met nice guys where sadly there was just no 'spark' between us and I've met not so nice guys who end up chewing me up and spitting me out on their terms. Online dating is one strange world.
Oh and lastly; not one encounter from it has ever led to anything serious and in some cases; not even a second date. In all honesty, I’d be surprised if I ever get anywhere with a person I meet through Tinder. But hey, who knows. Maybe I just match with the wrong ones and there is hope for me still...
In all seriousness though, depending on what you want in terms of dating; Tinder isn't all that bad. I'm sure for whatever reason, there are plenty of couples and people who have benefitted from using Tinder; it just so happens that I am not one of them.
Come on, give me something to work with at least. I’m not expecting a whole biography of your entire life from childhood to adulthood; but something is better than nothing. Even if it is something so basic like your age, where you live, what you’re studying or what you do for work, etc. They’re all something that have the potential to start a conversation. Because for someone like me, who has never used a chat up line in their life, (and FYI - is never going to) and who doesn’t know how to even begin to start a conversation via Tinder that wouldn’t end up being the driest conversation imaginable; you know, “Hey! How are you doing?” - I need to know something about you. Especially if you expect me to message you first.
In a way, I get why people tend to not have a bio; you can get to know them because they will be completely mysterious. Having no bio kind of makes you want to know something; especially if you find them visually attractive. But again, you can still do that WITH a bio, maybe even better because having a bio would show whether or not you’re into similar things or have the same hobbies. Although I've noticed that profiles that include hobbies and interests only appear on what I’d say are the elite profiles of Tinder, who really help a girl like me out from time to time by actually putting some thought and effort into a bio.
I try my hardest not to swipe on a persons profile based entirely on their looks/photos; but when you have no bio? Your looks are all I’m left with. So if you have no bio and we have matched, I think it would be fair to say I find you attractive. Unless you’re an accidental swipe, oops. If that’s the case, then that’s a bit awkward but come on; it happens to the best of us.
Also, if you have no bio but we’ve matched and you’re maybe (probably not, but you never know) wondering why I haven’t messaged; see paragraph 2; WRITE A FUCKING BIO.
2. SUNGLASSES
Please tell me I’m not the only girl on Tinder who has picked up on this? Almost every guy that pops up on my Tinder has a photo of themselves wearing sunglasses.
A single photo among several? Fine.
Your only photo? Not ideal really, is it?
Worst yet, several photos with sunglasses on in every one? Well, unless you’re fucking Stevie Wonder who has been blind since birth by the way; what is the point? Am I missing something? It doesn’t really allow me to see (pardon the pun) all that much, does it? Your eyes are a huge part of your face. You can tell a lot by a persons eyes; even in photos.
It just really grinds my gears is all. But, if you are a guy without a photo of yourself wearing sunglasses; then I wholeheartedly applaud you. You’re doing great, sweetie.
3. GROUP PHOTOS
Oh my god, how frustrating is it when you see a group photo, spot a 10/10; only to swipe through the rest of their photos and realise whose profile it really is… oh.
Group photos do nothing other than bring what could be my potential love story to a cruel and twisted end. Shame on you guys who only use group photos. I don’t know who it disappoints more; me or you.
4. TOPLESS PHOTOS
Not leaving much to the imagination there are we? Whenever I see a topless photo on a guys profile, 9 times out of 10 I swipe left. Genuinely. Unless I see other evidence that you are some sort of actual athlete, like say… a swimmer; then call me weird (girls), but I will swipe left on that profile. It doesn’t appeal to me. You would either care too much about making your abs ‘pop' or you are just a guy who is “not looking for anything serious, just a bit of fun ;P.” Whichever it may be; left left left.
To me, topless photos say all I need to know about what type of guy they are. Perhaps that is too judgemental of me, but that’s my opinion. Having said that, I’ve matched with a few guys like this from time to time out of curiosity and have been proven right. What I mean is; the conversation didn't even reach to "how are you" before they initiated some sort of dirty talk or sending nudes. So yeah, my opinion still stands.
I don’t need to see your washboard abs to know that you workout; tell me about it instead. It’s the same with tattooed torsos; tell me about the tattoos you have first, then maybe show me; if I ask and you’re willing to. Equally, I don’t need to see your hairy chest for you to prove that you’re a man; there are other ways you can show me this, thank you.
Again, it’s a superficiality thing. It’s obvious as a guy that if you get your abs out that you’re likely to be swiped right on and considered 'attractive'. Just like it is obvious that if you’re a girl and you’re wearing revealing clothing in your photos or maybe you’re curvy; whatever guys typically consider visually attractive - you’re more likely to be swiped right on too. That said, please note that FYI guys - no girl dresses in order or hope of achieving your attention and validation; nor are our bodies built especially for you.
5. OPENING LINES
Starting the first conversation will be the hardest, I know. As hard as it can be, if you send some of the shit to girls that I’ve been sent and are left wondering why you haven’t had a reply or have been unmatched; chances are it’s because of what you just said. Think before you type; it will benefit us both.
I’m not any way a fun sponge; I just struggle to understand what the fuck goes through a guys head when they decide to strike up a conversation in this way. I mean, are these really something you would say to a girl in a club?
Here’s a small amount of what I’ve been sent:
 |
Yes, perhaps a hi would have been better...
Very original...
Compared to some, these are the nicer opening liners I receive. I have to say though, I dig the imagination that must go into them, I really do. But things like this leave me with nothing to say. What could I possibly reply to these with?! I’m all for banter and innuendos; just not as an opening liner.
All any message like this ever does is provide the group chat with a good laugh. So I mean, keep them coming; just don’t expect a reply from me…
6. LAZY PEOPLE
Ok ok. What I mean by this is; my profile includes what university I’m in and what I study, as well as a few other of my interests and hobbies. Yet, I still get undated with the following:
“What do you study?”
“Are you in uni?”
… are you unable to read?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure the answer to those questions are in black and white on my actual profile. What makes me laugh even more though is the fact that my place of university will actually appear UNDER the first photo you will see of me on your Tinder.
Unless you’re illiterate; don’t be fucking lazy. Read. Nothing makes me sigh harder or roll my eyes even further into the back of my head than being asked these questions, honestly. It’s boring. Instead, why not ask me why I study what I do or if I enjoy studying what I do. It’s not that hard to make a little more effort, you know.
7. FILTERS
There is one word for guys who have photos of themselves using Snapchat filters: cringe. Especially if it’s a dog filter. How am I supposed to take you seriously when you're 24 and are still posting selfies with a Snapchat filter on?
Just stop it. You look like a prat.
8. FALLING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH
You know, you match with someone and exchange some messages and actually begin to have a decent conversation; leading you to see a bit of potential. Then suddenly; BOOM. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Was it something I said?
I will say though, I don’t do it on purpose. I promise. Like I say, I either forget to reply or it’s because Tinder is such a dodgy app that half of the time if I am speaking to you, your profile will be someone else’s and their profile will be yours. It crashes constantly and the conversations get hidden by other notifications or muddled together. It’s as though Tinder gets a bit confused or something. So this coupled with the fact I dislike Tinder in general is why you may suddenly never hear from me again because I end up just saying fuck it and deleting the app at random. So be warned and apologies that it may occur during a conversation, unless you act quickly and get my number or something.
ALL IN ALL...
Whilst I am no advocate for Tinder; my profile will probably continue to pop up on occasion. Why? Well, like I said at the beginning of this post, how else do you meet people these days? As confident as I am, or can be; I know for sure that I would not be able to just walk up to a guy in a bar and start talking. Especially in terms of trying to chat them up or whatever. It wouldn't feel natural to me, whereas using Tinder does, which is sad; but it's reality now.
However, without me taking that leap into the unknown by downloading Tinder; this blog would never have come into being. So I guess I do have something positive to say about it. It has enabled me to meet a fair few people; some of which were great and others; odd. Odd as in, it's clear why they're single and on Tinder is all I'll say. But overall, they're people I would probably have never met without it. It's also given me a lot of experience, stories to tell and has taught me, in its own way of what I do want and what I don't. I've had fun; but I've also had a lot of misery. I've met people with good intentions and I've met people with bad ones. I've met nice guys where sadly there was just no 'spark' between us and I've met not so nice guys who end up chewing me up and spitting me out on their terms. Online dating is one strange world.
Oh and lastly; not one encounter from it has ever led to anything serious and in some cases; not even a second date. In all honesty, I’d be surprised if I ever get anywhere with a person I meet through Tinder. But hey, who knows. Maybe I just match with the wrong ones and there is hope for me still...
In all seriousness though, depending on what you want in terms of dating; Tinder isn't all that bad. I'm sure for whatever reason, there are plenty of couples and people who have benefitted from using Tinder; it just so happens that I am not one of them.
No comments
Post a Comment
Got something to say? I'd love to hear it...